Brad Sondahl

November 18, 2004

DEAR MR. PINKWATER AS WIFE TO NIGERIAN STRONG MAN DICTATOR FOR LIFE DUAH WAH-DIDDY IT WAS MY DUTY TO PREPARE THE DAILY GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH FOR HIS EVIL WHIMS. IMAGINE MY CHAGRIN ONE DAY WHEN I DISCOVERED AN IMAGE OF THE VIRGIN MARY APPEARING ON THE SANDWICH. “IF MY HUSBAND SEES THIS HE’LL SHAKE HIS SANDALS AT ME,” I THOUGHT.

I MUST SEND THE SANDWICH SOMEWHERE IT WILL BE APPRECIATED. I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU. IF YOU WILL SEND ME YOUR BANK ROUTING NUMBER I WILL MAKE SURE THE SANDWICH ARRIVES IN GOOD CONDITION. THIS SANDWICH IS KNOWN TO HAVE MIRACULOUS POWERS. SINCE I MADE THE SANDWICH AND STARTED SENDING THESE EMAILS, I HAVE RECEIVED MANY INTERESTING OFFERS FROM PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD.

Mazeltov

Brad Sondahl

Your offer is interesting, but comes too late. I already have a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich with the perfect likeness of Elvis--which beats the Virgin Mary by 4 points. Good luck in finding another connoisseur.