Alex

December 23, 2002

Hello.

This is me speaking, and I was wondering if you could send me one(or two) copies of every book that you have ever wrote. Oh yeah, and the other day my parents told me to never read your books because I will transform into an alien that looks exactly like a human, except in 30 years I’ll still have hair on my head and not in my ears or nose, is this true? I have travelled in time, space, and the other, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t find that dimension where everything is flat. Most people say 2-dimensional, but I haven’t got a clue what that means, but I’ve got this gut feeling that it means flat. Could you please give me directions to the flat land. Also, I think you should make note in the beginning of all your books that tells the reader that the stories told are not fiction, because people tend to think they are fake, but they aren’t. My name is (see last word), just to let you know. Excuse me I have to stop writing, the chicken dancers next door are imitating cows, and sing song(the big monkey thing that sings while wearing a pantyhose on top of her head and a ballet dancers slipper on her nose and ear) is on top of of my roof scaring away the aliens that somewhat resemle giant potatoes with a cheese grater on their heads, so things are bound to get a little drastic.

Great to hear from you. How's Aunt Mildred? Is Luigi going through with his plans to open a barber shop-and-deli combination? Keep up with the Esperanto classes--they'll open doors for you.