September 17, 2017

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,
I’ve been a fan ever since I was seven, when my dad picked up a Snarkout Boys book at the library on our family trip to the beach and started reading it to me (it should tell you pretty much all you need to know about my family that we were at a library on our trip to the beach to begin with). I wanted to tell you that I tried your ratatouille recipe last night and was immediately a convert to the Pinkwater-Ratatouille-Weight-Loss-Plan. I don’t think I’ll make it once a day, but once or twice a week sounds good to me. Also, your book Young Adult Novel has got me out of a few scrapes while taking modern art history exams (my professors will believe ANYTHING if you sound confident enough). I WON’T mention you in my graduation speech when they hand me my invariably useless Bachelor of Fine Arts diploma, but I might for a crazy second consider it. Thanks for everything,
-Maddie

Daniel replies:

I have a B.A. in Art.  My college did not offer a B.F.A., nor did they offer enough studio courses to justify giving one.  I think you should mention me in your graduation speech.  Specifically, you could convey some advice from me.  Beside going to college, I have spent around 50 years refining my understanding and knowledge about art, have worked with, and consorted with, artists, and even am married to one, so I know plenty.  Here is what you can tell your fellow Arts graduates from me: "It is all right.  Do not worry.  What you have just gone through, and successfully finished, will wear off.  In a very few years, if you work hard, and pursue a healthy lifestyle, it will be as though you never went to art school, and you will be happy again."

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