March 10, 2007
Post #2174 – 20070310
I have just stumbled across you on NPR and was intrigued by your humor and verve.
I have struggled all my life with being fat. Six years ago I love 50 lbs and felt SO great about myself. Of course, as usual, I gained it all back within in two years. The last four years I have been in a quasi-depression. I feel as though I have put my life on hold, just waiting to lose weight to pick up where I left off. Buying cloths, feeling sexy, etc. Hell, I only buy watches, hats and shoes any more because I just ‘know’ that the moment I buy some clothes that I really like I will lose a bunch of weight, hence making them obsolete.
Honestly, I can’t live like this anymore. Under the constant strain and pressure of longing to be thin again.
Finally I realize that I don’t have to settle for a second class life anymore. I can have the same life as a thin person.
I do have a question: would you say a little bit about your buddhism? I have been a buddhist for 8 years but have struggled with my weight and the proverbial ascetic buddhist lifestyle. I LOVE hot wings and have always felt a dissonance between my ‘religion’ and my body type.
Anyway, thank you so much. I am going out today to buy your book.
My ""Zen Buddhism"" is more Zen than Buddhist. As to being fat, Hotei, (look him up), was a pretty hefty fellow. Not long ago a film crew doing a PBS documentary, (supposed to air in April, called something like ""Fat, what no one is telling you""), interviewed me. I don't know if they wound up using me in the finished film. One of the things I told them was that I had this little thing, like a mole, like a tiny fibrous wart, no bigger than the head of a pin, on my chin--and I explained that I devoted more thought to that little wart than I do the the fact that I am fat. (I since had the thing removed, and now I don't think about anything at all). I have written a lot about fatness, chapters in Hoboken Fish & Chicago Whistle, Fat Camp Commandos, and my weird adult novel The Afterlife Diet. You can probably find a lot of material conveying my thoughts on the subject on the web. I'm not going to write about it here. I will just say I'd rather be a fat man than a fathead. I don't see how hot wings can hurt anyone.