Sandra Gonnerman

February 21, 2001

Mr. Pinkwater… First allow me to apologize for the poor behavior of the educator/librarian-types. I think maybe they should keep you and reconsider Simon instead (I wrote to HIM and included an invitation to our house for dinner, even. But I never got any response from HIM.-he missed homemade manicotti, homemade French bread (with REAL, unsalted butter), homemade creme brulee, and store-bought California wine). Oh well. But back to the librarian-types… they perhaps need a hobby (model airplanes are good, or writing to favorite authors, maybe) rather than to pick on you. I can’t get over it! Don’t they know that kids in my class who hate to read ALWAYS read The Blue Moose or Return of the Blue Moose and my daughter and many of my students have read BORGEL about ten times. (That reminds me, why is it that the really, really smart kids always like Borgel so much?).

I would like you to please tell Jill that I thought it was real neat that she fed liver to the coyote (I’m pretty sure it was a coyote) on the highway after the librarian’s conference in Arizona. It sounds like something I would do. (Except that I don’t feed snakes, ever-no offense to Cecil who sounds nice). She can come and be a librarian with me anytime. I also liked the part about going to the librarian’s house (and how it was kinda boring) after the conference and looking out the window and seeing a critter. It’s one of my favorite “radio” stories.

But now I have a particularly serious question having to do with the owner of the puppy farm. Did you really meet this man? Well I did. It was in Florida in one of those beach towns. He was behind the counter in a pizza place. It was about 11:30 at night and I was sent out to “gather” for food to feed the family (and no, I don’t “hunt”). In any event, I went up to the counter and THERE HE WAS!. The man was wearing a “white” apron that he had washed, last, in 1983 and had a cigar in his mouth that looked like something found in the back of my refrigerator. So I’m curious if this is the same guy. (I’m good at finding book characters- Roald Dahl’s Mr. and Mrs. Twit lived in the house behind us when I was growing up).

I think Cecil was a good way to spend your extra postage money. Be sure you keep him happy, though. I once had a snake (believe it or not!) that a middle school student gave me when I was a librarian. I kept it in a huge aquarium in the library. One day I came in and it was gone. (Maybe it was scared of the students- this sometimes happens to those who spend time at a middle school.). But anyway, congratulations on Cecil. (Just please ask him not to lie around my clothes drier if he ever comes to visit the bushes in California).

To make up for the mean-spirited librarians you are officially invited to our house for dinner. And maybe Scott will find my letter in between the seats of the car and answer that he will come, too. We can have a party. I’ll use real butter in everything.

Yours very truly, the fifth grade-teacher librarian fan from San Diego, Sandy Gonnerman

P.S. Don’t forget to write another book.

No need to apologize to me. I think librarians are neat. There is a small contingent of abusive swine, which might infest any profession. I am happy to bite off and spit out the heads of such individuals when I encounter them--which is comparatively infrequently--as a public service. I happen to know that Scott Simon gets plenty of fine French cooking--and, being a gentleman did not overlook your invitation--it was no doubt lost in transit. It was a wolf Jill encountered, and she gave it no liver or any sort of treat--they simply met as equals. She was in the habit of bringing peanut-butter-flavored dog-biscuits to another wolf-friend of hers, which the wolf favored very much, but that was probably only because Jill brought them