David Lorczak

July 22, 2000

Herr Doktor Professor Pinkwater,

I am afraid that this probably won’t be brief enough to be posted on the (un)official site, but I hope it might come to your attention anyway. I am a middle-aged fan who only began reading your work seven years ago. In the 40 books of yours I have read (thank god for interlibrary loan programs), I have noticed a conspicuous absence of the game of baseball, leaving me to assume that you are disinterested in it at best. Still, I hope that you will find it interesting to learn that there is a wonderful, mystical, imaginary online baseball league called the Cosmic Baseball Association which has recently drafted you to pitch next year for the Eden Bohemians of the Middleleague. This is a writer’s team. Their roster this year:

Catcher – Sinclair Lewis
First Base – Andre Breton
Second Base – Georges Perec
Third Base – Franz Kafka
Shortstop – Miquel Cervantes
Left Field – Yukio Mishima
Center Field – Ring Lardner
Right Field – Ernest Hemingway
Utility Infielders – Gustave Flaubert, Virginia Woolf
Extra Outfielder – Alfred de Musset
Pitchers – Antonin Artaud, Harry Crosby, Ted Hughes, Edgar Allan Poe, Theodore Rilke, Delmore Schwartz, Derek Walcott (retiring after this year, to be replaced by Daniel Pinkwater) and Nathanael West.

The team, which plays its home games in Odradek Stadium, is “owned” by Simon de Beauvoir. Its General Manager is Henry Miller; Manager: Fielding Dawson; Coach: William Thackeray.

They are currently in third place in their eight team league.

Congratulations on this new endeavor, and always bear in mind the relationship between proper nutrition and performance.

I bow at the waist,

David Lorczak

Sounds ok to me. I like imaginary sports. (So do most people, come to think of it). I'm famous for my ""borgel-ball"" which arrives at the plate in another time continuum.