Talk to DP Forum

Fred Robey

Post #627 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Dear Captin Pinkwater,

I enjoy your books A loT!!!!! Also I am not writing you to yell about how you beat up on fat Jew’s. I am writing to say that you are a great writer. That it is all for now. I am in awe that I found this site!!!!

Ps. I have heard of chicken man from some of the old timers that work the cta!

Daniel replies:

Fred Robey -- Now _there's_ a post! Thanks for your abject praise. Notwithstanding, this baseless accusation that I beat up fat Jews is likely to haunt me. I offer this challenge: Let any fat, or even slightly overweight Jew who can claim I have beaten him, or her, up come forward. I am prepared to refute any such claim, and produce as witnesses satisfied Jews, and adherents of other faiths, to whom I have offered ice cream, matzoh brei, hot dogs and other good things.

[Ed.-- You can bet your kishka on this one, folks.]

Adam Matz

Post #576 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

I don’t have much to say other than if I have kids I am going to force feed them Pinkwater books until they are old enough to live on their own. You are a wonderful author and I wish you the best in everything you do. (interesting note – my nickname is also “The Chicken Man” like Mr. Kanemoto, alas it is just because of my pitifully skinny legs)

Daniel replies:

Force feed them? I don't like the sound of that. Decent parents try to protect their children from trash such as I write, and give them lots of Disney, so they can grow up to be fine Americans.


Post #684 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

what do you recommend for depression, mr. pinkwater? It’s been a long day. still love you tho.


Daniel replies:

For depression I suggest a milkshake made with yoghurt, honey and fresh fruit, and maybe some St.John's wort.

Aleta Fera

Post #635 – 19970101

January 1, 1997


The Snarkout Boys series is a favorite of mine, even though I’m in university now (must be that inner 12 year old, hmm?) Does the new novel take place at Genghis Khan High (I noticed Ms. Sweet, the psycho biology teacher) One thing I always wondered; what are the thirteen different levels which The Baconburg Horror can be read on?

PS A friend of mine saw the Chicken Man riding a bus a couple years ago. I love it when reality and fiction collide!!!

Daniel replies:

Fiction and reality collide? You think what I write is fiction?

Thanks for the kind words. My readers are so neat!

Ella Bass

Post #490 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

I’m a teacher at Lauderbach Elementary School in Chula Vista, Ca and my fifth grade students just finished reading Pinkwater’s story “The Hoboken Chicken Adventure.” We learned that his story was made into a movie for television and we would like to know how we could view the movie in our classroom. How do we gain access to the movie? We would appreciate any information you can give us.

Daniel replies:

Ella Bass -- Obviously you read the textbook adaptation of ""The Hoboken Chicken Emergency."" There was a one-hour TV movie in the Wonderworks series, which still airs from time to time. When it was first shown, I received much congratulation from adults, and exactly six letters from kids. All the letters said more or less precisely the same thing: ""I bet you had nothing to do with the making of that movie."" And they were right. I think it would be a good classroom exercise to compare the movie with the story in the reader, or the book.

[Try Critic's Choice Video, at 800-367-7765 --Ed.]


Post #478 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Ok, so I have read your books for a long time, from the age of eight, or maybe five. I still dont like avacadoes, but we all have our faults. I stopped reading your books for a while about a year back, because I had discovered Douglas Adams and the imfamous Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, funny as hell, but no real fat men, or lizards for that matter(allright, for Adams’s sake, there was one fat man, but he was spending a year dead for tax purposes), and I was feeling lost and confused. I needed a pinkwater fix, so I went to my local library, only to find that some haggis headed yokel had stolen them all! And it wasn’t me! Now the only book I have of yours is the last guru(which I, coincidentaly, stole from a library). Now I cant find your books anywhere, excluding this sight, whic doesnt count because I am only 16 and dont have a credit card. How else can I obtain them? Back door bookcover ripping operations? The chicago mafia? Out of town library? Or can I just break down in tears at my book store? Also, did they make movies out of any of your other books besides the Hoboken Chicken Emergency?

P.S. I am fat and proud, even if it is a bit embarassing in pe. Really, when will it ever come in handy in real life? “Fifty squat thrusts now! Or you dont get the raise!!”

Daniel replies:

Draynen -- OK, listen up. This is for you, Draynen, and anyone else who comes here who's fat, (probably 50% at least), and, actually anyone. You type where it says ""Location"" in your web browser . This will take you to a neat site all for and about fat peoples, which is entertaining and enlightening in itself, but.....this is jumping the gun--there will be an official announcement before the quite near future is going to post a whole novel of mine, the very hard to find, ""The Afterlife Diet,"" a chapter a day until the whole thing is there. Then it disappears. Thus, a wretched 16-year-old without funds can read something of mine for free. Am I a terrific guy or what?

P.S. Yes, the fact that you're fat will become part of your permanent record.

Dr. Kyle

Post #503 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Mr. Pinkwater,

It’s so good to find your Web page. This is Dr. Kyle, veterinarian in Kansas who used to be connected with you through GENIE. I know, I know, you’re thinking “Some Vet in Kansas?” A few years ago, you had rootbeer as a topic – the best made, and we sent you some LOST TRAILS brew from Louisburg, KS, which I think you liked, if not giving it top listing. Also, you encouraged me to send a commentary to NPR for Margaret Low Smith to hear. She did listen (thanks to you), and she was very kind and gentle in her rejection. (Another veterinarian already has that spot on NPR.) I will always feel honored that you would help and encourage me.

You have a wonderful Web page, one I have added to my special address list. I’ll check in again.

Daniel replies:

Dr. Kyle - Cowdoc! I remember you. I remember the root beer. Margaret Low Smith would have listened to your tape with or without my recommendation, and rejected it because of your frothing-at-the-mouth right-wing politics. I also remember Razzlee your clever assistant, and your bad music radio show. You are a renaissance vet, and a credit to the state of Kansas.

It's not my website. It's Aileron's shrine to greatness.

Miriam Solon

Post #702 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

I just read the first 39 chapters of “The Afterlife Diet” at one sitting, and now I’m really hungry.

I’m looking forward to the rest, but I really think I should do my taxes first.

Thank you for making me laugh my head off.

BTW, if you’re back home last weekend of June please drop by our festival (Natsu Matsuri), just up the road two miles from your beloved(?) Nettelhorst. In addition to Japanese food, we also serve Vienna Hot Dogs.

visit the website:

with gassho


Miriam Solon

Daniel replies:

Does anybody know the words to the Nettlehorst song?

William A. Broom

Post #589 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Dear Magister Pinkwater,

Isn’t technology…whatever. Congratulations on your web site, the URL to which I typed into my browser even as you spoke it in your NPR commentary mere moments ago. I was connected your new electronic presence before your commentary was finished and was pleased to find — FINALLY!! — an Opera Omnia Pinkwateri listed there, now available world-wide. Clicky-clicky and voila`!

I have enjoyed repeated readings of “Chicago Days Hoboken Nights” and “Fishwhistle,” and await more published versions of your insightful autobiographical musings. The accounts of your Epiphany before a Jackson Pollock painting and your life among malamutes and maine coon cats have struck a special chord (I prefer the harmonious spelling) with me. If it’s not too presumptuous to ask, could you kindly crank out your publications for us older children a bit faster. I have already seen 50 summers and fear that either of us has an ever more limited engagement in which to enjoy your work.

Yours, enthusiastically awaiting your next publication announcement,

Bill Broom

Daniel replies:

Discipulus Broom -- I do not differentiate. The books are not _for_ young or old, they are for young me! As someone remarked on this page, I contain the child I have been. Others are invited to read with him. Besides, I too am past a half century, and plan to do another 40 or 50, which I suggest you do also, so you can read the

David Price

Post #646 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Hi Daniel, I’m an anthropologist who has been using the Freedom of Information Act to write a tragic history of the Cold War (the paranoia, intellectual, social & financial costs). I’m one of your biggest fans & was thrilled to hear your piece on NPR a few months back on that Russian children’s book illustrator/writer… I can’t find the napkin on which I scrawled the artist/author’s name, or the name of the book you spoke of, would you be kind enough to tell me who this author is & provide a citation of the re-issued book you reviewed? Thanks.

I have been sparring with the FBI off and on over the last few years trying to pry loose their files on Ted Geisel (As Mr. Hoover used to say:…hmmmm….something suspicious about ANYONE who uses a pseudonym…). Once they finally turn it over I’d be happy to send on a copy of his file to you if you are interested in such things.


PS: My son Milo (age 4) want to know you are riding inside the second car from the left on shown on page one of the last pages of your book “Aunt Lulu.” If it is a picture of you, where are you going? Inquiring minds want to know.

Daniel replies:

Did Hoover say anything about people over 40 who wear feather boas? I wonder if my FBI files contains any of those pictures they used to take of me at folk concerts in Chicago in the 50's. My father had brought me a genuine beret and a paisley scarf from Paris, and I always wore them, and the agents used to snap me with the long lenses, because of my un-American appearance, not to mention that I was going places to hear black musicians. Dr. Seuss had a file? My, my.

Sorry, David Price, I forgot to say the book is FIRST, SECOND, published by the often-mentioned FS&G this past spring. The name of the translator and illustrator (good!) elude me at the moment.

Dennis Franco

Post #639 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

I heard the new diet segment on NPR but didn’t sink in until I reflected on it.

I need to shed some winter weight and it sounded credible.

Where can I get it? (the diet) ratatouie..sp? recipe?

Thanks Daniel…I also enjoyed your call in to Car Talk which prompted this message. (I loved the call about your old BMW….I have an old one too.

Daniel replies:

Dennis, I will send Aileron the text of my fool-proof ratatouille weight-loss plan, (not diet, please--diets are dangerous things, and many people make themselves uncomfortable and/or endanger their health by dieting--my plan is just eating a lot of yummy vegetables instead of double cheeseburgers). I am sure Aileron will post the piece here. Thanks for your kind words, and the old BMW is running fine!

The Fourth Grade at Alban

Post #661 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Dear Mr. Pinkwater,

We can hardly wait to see you at Albany Academy for Girls on November 1st. We enjoy reading your books, especially THE BLUE MOOSE and MUSH, THE DOG FROM SPACE and NED FELDMAN, SPACE PIRATE. We will see you soon.

>From the Fourth Grade at Albany Academy for Girls

P. S. Please write back.

Daniel replies:

Dear Fourth Grade at Albany Academy for Girls:

Yep, it's a fact. I will show up on November first, prepared to give my usual stupid answers to your intelligent questions. It makes me sad to think how many readers who may respect me now will be asking on November second: ""Who was that idiot?"" But, you have to learn to stay away from authors some time.


Post #504 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Hey Danny! hows the modern day world treating you? I am none other than your actual biggest fan. i have never red books (save for one(enders game by orson scott card)) that were as totally entertaining as yours. ever since fourth grade when i wrote a letter to you in fourth grade i have been trying to gen in touch again. i was sent i nice picture of about ten of you floating around . (obviously a genius at work) i just want to say that i immensely enjoy the hours of reading i have spent on your books. i only regret that i have not met you in person. we have alot alike. my personal fave would have to be alan mendelson, boy from mars. keep it comin’ but dont work too hard.-awed and splendored, davy: age 14

Daniel replies:

Davy - Other readers have mentioned ""Enders Game."" I'll have to check it out. Maybe Ian Stoba can read it on the airplane. Thanks for the kind words, and being my fan and all. You're wrong about wishing you had met me. People are always disappointed when they meet writers they like, and discover they are.....(yuck)...writers. However, readers can be nice, especially mine.

Dave Taylor

Post #499 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

To the Great Mr. Pinkwater –

Just wanted to let you know that I push all your books on people I know and don’t know. The woman I date depends on whether or not she can appreciate “Blue Moose” and the music of Frank Zappa. I also wanted to let you know that I am now obsessed with New Jersey. My last girlfriend was from there. I think about it a lot. Keep up the great work!

Daniel replies:

Dave Taylor -- I applaud your high standards. As must the women of New Jersey.

Daniel Epstein

Post #488 – 19970101

January 1, 1997

Sir, thank you very much for writing Fat Men from Outer Space and Lizard Music, they changed my life.

Daniel replies:

Daniel Epstein -- I am glad to hear it. Others have told me the same thing, but I'm never sure if they are thanking me or accusing.

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